Back in the swing of things

Well, this chemical pregnancy really took the wind out of my sails. Found out on Monday that my beta was only 9 at 20 dpiui. I started bleeding that afternoon and that was that.

Tomorrow I'm going to a practitioner of Mayan Abdominal Massage and then on Tuesday I'm headed back to acupuncture. J even mentioned the possibility of me taking some extended time off from work. If this IUI doesn't work we'll be on a forced break because of the holidays - which should give us some time to not think about it and then to really work on coming up with a long term plan.

Craziness

So - here's the saga of the last week.

I POAS on Tuesday, 14 dpo. It was an EPT +/- test (blue dye). I asked J to look at it since I didn't want to! He called me in because he thought he saw something but he wasn't sure. Sure enough - a super faint line. But, neither one of us could believe it because it was so faint, and we decided I would test again the following day if I didn't get AF.

Wednesday I POAS - this time, it was a First Response (pink dye). Clearly no line.

Thursday I POAS - back to the EPT - a slight + again.

Friday PM I POAS - back to First Response, and there is a faint line! At this point, I'm really started to believe I could be pregnant, but J wants to wait for a blood test. So, I'm going to call the Dr. on Monday morning and see if I can't get in for a test. In the meantime, I'm going to go buy some more HPTs! And still no AF - I'm starting to feel good about this!!!!!!!

Turning leaves

When I woke up today I couldn't exactly remember why I was feeling so low last night. Yea! Good day - completed a bunch of stuff that I wanted to and didn't obsess about my ute too much.

I bought some cute items from Loft, and I'm really looking forward to being able to shop their maternity line sometime in the not so distant future!

Things are not looking up

I'm starting off the weekend in a down mood. J is out of town until Monday, and it's already been a long week without him. I'm waiting until Tuesday to POAS, which is the day I'm supposed to wait to - but I've had breast tenderness and today that feeling of something in my lower abdomen - not like menstrual cramps, but a solid pull across the front.

So - the combination of this - being alone, and now being convinced that I'm just experiencing regular old PMS signs, means I'm feeling pretty low.

I'm hoping that having some plans of what I want to do for the weekend will help pull me through. The weather is supposed to be beautiful, so here are my plans, though not necessarily in this order:

• Clean kitchen, top to bottom
• Drive to nearby trail to take dog for an extended walk
• Work on my cross stitch
• Go to Ann Taylor Loft to see if there is any use for my coupon
• Go to Wild Birds Unlimited to buy some good birdseed and look for another feeder
• Vacuum my house
• Do 2 loads of laundry

So, nothing too crazy, but at least it's a list to focus on working my way through!

Did BPA Cause My Infertility?

Seriously. Should I be shaking my head right now, or should I legitimately be freaking out?

IUI #2 went the same as IUI #1 - doctor couldn't get the catheter in and had to pull out the scary clamp. It didn't seem so bad this time, probably because I knew what to expect this time. The only difference this cycle was I went in for monitoring on CD 12 instead of CD 10, and the doc had me trigger that night and IUI the next morning - he said the egg was ready to pop!

J is currently away on a business trip - and technically I'm supposed to test the first morning that he is back. I think that will be a good goal - no testing while he's away!

My "fertility" necklace arrived yesterday - a silver chain with a sliver pomegranate, horseshoe and garnet. It's very cute and I'm hoping it provides much needed fertility, luck and healing!

Unsaid

Well, I probably don't need to type here that IUI #1 was a bust. I knew the day before I was supposed to test when I started spotting, and I just lost it.

We're on to IUI #2, with the same protocol. I'm on day 5 of clomid today and the ultrasound to check on the follies is scheduled for next Monday. Let's hope that the 2nd time is the charm!

Productive and Waiting

I am so itching to POAS, but I won't, until Tuesday at least. If it's negative, I'm seriously going to be wondering what is going on in my ute, because there have been all sorts of twinges and things going on there for several days.

Today was soooo productive - I cleaned out my clothes closet, baked chocolate chip pumpkin bread, a baked penne dinner, and cleaned my butt off. It's a good way to keep myself distracted while I wait!

In the middle

Back to the grindstone - I think for awhile I was grieving my IF diagnosis. I was in a really low place. But now that I've joined up with the IF girls on The Bump and FB I can feel my spirits lifting. Yes, there are sad stories and a lot of disappointments, but there's a lot of support and love, yes, love, on those boards for those of us in the thick of this craziness.

So - I'm scared to go back to acupuncture since it coincided with the start of a cluster headache cycle last time. But, here's the update to where we are now: 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel IUI #1 was on 10/1 and we're waiting until 10/15 (yeah right!) to take an HPT. Fingers crossed that it's a + and that I don't drive myself nuts between now and then!

Ummm. . . 90%?

The dr. told me prior to the lap that I would be a 90% by Monday. Well, after a 1/2 day at work yesterday I was in most discomfort that I've been in since the surgery. Yuck. So, since we leave this Friday for vacation, I really want to make sure that I'm recovered. I called the nurse and she said there was no indication of a problem as long as I was eating, going to the bathroom and not running a fever. So - apparently I might just be a slow healer. If post surgery was the baseline for 0%, and pre-surgery is 100%, I'm currently at about 60%.

Vacation begins this Friday! My husband and I are off to Switzerland and Italy for 2 weeks! I finally bought a pair of good walking flats and a purse to carry on the trip yesterday (Vera Bradley "On the Go" bag in Raspberry Fizz) so I think I'm all set. My packing list is written and I just need to put everything together on Thursday night. This vacation is just at a perfect time between my lap and the next cycle when we can start trying - so we can just totally enjoy this vacation for what it is and not think about TTC.

When we get back I'm starting on a 12-week program from Pulling Down the Moon. I bought their "Fully Fertile" book and a DVD with yoga, breathing and relaxationg exercises. I'm really excited to get started and address and whole bunch of mind body stuff - things to open my body, relax my body and mind, and feed myself properly for this journey and beyond. I might even go start up accupuncture again, now that I do know what my physical issues are.

Long Time - New Approach

I was so frustrated after I had to deal with those cluster headaches that I just tossed in the towel for awhile. Well, in May, we hit our TTC 1 year anniversary - not something that most of us look forward to. So now I have the big red "INFERTILE" stamp on my chart at the ob/gyn. At least we were then able to get ourselves in to see the RE. Ultimately, my husband's semen analysis came back a-ok, so on to me - the RE determined pretty quickly based on my history that I was ovulating and through a quick pelvic exam, that I also had a retroflexed uterus. How come no other dr. ever told me that before?

Putting those things together - RE suggested we do a surgical procedure to check for blocked tubes and/or endometriosis - so I had the laparoscopy this past Wednesday, and guess what - not only do I have a retroflexed uterus (which unto itself does not indicate or cause infertility) but I also have stage 2 endometriosis on my bladder, both ovaries and uterus (which he zapped away with a laser), a fibroid on my uterus (which he left alone for now) and cervical stenosis - which might actually be the cause of the endo. I go back for a post-op visit this Thursday to talk about everything in more detail.

While it was a true joy to find out just how screwed up my own body is, it is a relief to find out there is a physical explination as to why we haven't conceived yet. I think now we get 3 full cycles to make it happen before pursuing further testing and options.

Happy Valentine's Day

So J and I decided to stay in today and make a nice meal (well, I'll be making a nice meal - J will be on clean-up duty) instead of going out.  So, here's the menu:

Shrimp Cocktail with Red Cocktail Sauce Sakowitz

Steak Diane Flambe

Wild Rice

Asparagus

Homemade Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Icing

Sounds good, no?  

Brain Dead

I think all of the drugs I'm on are starting to kill my brain cells!  When I got home from work yesterday I tried calling J to ask him if he could pick up milk on his way home.  I got no answer at work, and his cell phone was turned off.  So I tried again 10 minutes later - same result.  Then I thought that maybe when he got home we could go to Lowe's to look at paint and flooring and go out for sushi, and then pick up milk on our way home.  It wasn't until 6:20 that I remembered that J had class and wasn't going to be home until after 8!  Hello!  So I sent him a text asking him to pick up milk (for when he turned his phone back on), heated up a microwave meal, and got cozy for the evening.  J actually got home earlier than I expected, but without the milk - he was nice enough to hop back in the car and go get it, or else I would not have been able to make my coffee this morning.  What a good guy.

Medicine update: 90mg prednisone, 80mg verapamil, lasix, miralax, zantac, ambien.

Nervous Anticipation

I am half expecting an admit to the hospital today - in light of the fact that I broke though 57.5 mg prednisone last night with an awful, long cluster headache.  Part of me actually wants it.  Maybe then something will happen to actually kill these things for good, or at least for the next 12 - 24 months.

To top it off, I think my body is at the tipping point.  First - my period came yesterday, about 4 days early.  That never happens on its own.  Next - heartburn city is going on in my chest.  Acne is all over my face, neck, chest and back.  My heart periodically pounds in my chest.  Last night while I was about 2/3 of the way through my cluster headache my bp was 116/92 (normally I'm 100/68 ish) and my pulse was 87!

So - here is the list of meds I will most likely be taking today: 60mg prednisone, 200 mg gabapentin, 100 mg Lasix, 18 grams Miralax, 150 mg OTC Zantac.  I'm going to hold off on the prednisone and gabapentin until after my 9:15am appt since I don't want to do anything that would preclude any additional treatments today. 

Wow - I cannot wait to get past this and be able to get back to what this blog was supposed to be all about: TTC!

Annoyed

I love that I called my Dr. yesterday to inform her that I was up to 57.5 mg prednisone, suffering from severe insomnia, and could she please call in a prescription for Relpax - and by the way, please call me back at phone number x -- and 6 hours later I check my messages at phone number y and there is a message from the Dr.'s office that  they scheduled me for an appointment on Monday at 9:15 - huh?  First of all - wrong number idiots.  Second - what about my Relpax prescriptiong?  How am I supposed to get through the weekend if a cluster headache breaks throuhg?  I am at the upper limit of the amount of prednisone I can/should be taking on my own.  So yes - while I do like my Dr. a lot, I am annoyed.

The Miralax and Lasix are keeping the digestive system flowing and bloat down - but the prednisone has made my skin break out something horrible, including my neck, chest and back.  It is gross.  I am also now suffering from near-constant heartburn, regardless of whether I take the meds with food or not - Zantac is mostly working, but does wear off by the time I wake up in the morning.  And that's the final thing -- being awake.  I cannot sleep past 5:10am, and it's not like I'm falling asleep at 8pm.  I do not survive well on less than 7 hours of sleep per night, and I'm not sure if I've gotten that much over the last 2 days combined.  What sleep I do get is restless, dream-filled, and generally not restful.

In spite of all of this, I am so hopeful that I can wrap this all up soon and get back to the business of TTC.

Wow

For lack of a better word - wow.  I just spoke with my sister - her father-in-law went in for a colonoscopy yesterday, which led to an emergency surgery later in the day, which ended with the surgeon coming out and informing them that it looked like it was late-stage pancreatic cancer.  They are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Effects of Prednisone: Day 21

Entering week #4 on prednisone, and it's starting to take it's toll: in spite of the Lasix (which has me feeling 100% better than before I was on it) my face is puffy.  Around my mouth and my cheeks mostly. I find myself with my heart racing at different times during the day and it doesn't go away quickly.  In fact, it's pretty much been racing since 3:15am, which coincidentally, is how long I've been awake.  As long as I can stay functional today, I don't really mind being up in the middle of the night, but something tells me that I won't be able to make it much past lunch today.

That's another side-effect: my sleep has been terribly disrupted.  It started really dragging me down yesterday.

On a work note - my entire department has been re-organized.  I'm less than thrilled, but trying hard not to get too pessimistic about it.  I no longer work for the same manager - I will be working for a colleague that has been promoted.  This will be my first experience in my career with dealing with that type of transition.  I also now report through a director who I am personally not a big fan of, which is actually what I am more concerned about.  So - I think I'm just going to lay low and put my head down for the next few weeks and observe how things start panning out.

Envy

I hate to say this, because I vowed I wouldn't become one of "those people", but if I hear of one more friend who is pregnant, I might scream.  Currently, J and I have a total of 6 couples who are all friends, not just acquaintances or colleagues, but friends or family members, who are expecting babies.  I am genuinely, truly happy for all of them.  I know at least 2 of them who have had difficulties or heartbreaking awful situations in getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term in the past.

But, I'm envious.  I envy their happiness.  I envy what might have been - all of us having kids extremely close the same age.  That might still happen, but at this point, it looks like the next chance I have for a try will be the end of March, meaning most likely, no 2009 baby for us.  My sister is having #2 in April, and if we had been successful in the first months of TTC, we would have been having a baby right around the same time.

What stinks right now is that even though I am temping and monitoring my fertility signs, there's no knowing how far off everything might be because of all of the meds I'm on my for head.  One thing is sure however - still showing signs of late ovulation (CD18 with no temp shift) and no EWCM, which has been consistent since I starting charting.  And I say late ovulation is definitely problematic because my cycles are 28 - 29 days, meaning my luteal phase, if I am in fact ovulating, is borderline short.  Well - at least charting is revealing this now, so hopefully something can be done about it come April.

On the positive front, the prednisone is keeping away my cluster headaches!  Headache free day 5 now, and I just started tapering down, so keep your fingers crossed!

More meds

Boy, this sure has deviated from my original intent, but it's actually going to be pretty interesting to look back on this and remember what detours I had along the way.

I'm on 2 additional medications to help me deal with the side effects from the prednisone - a prescription strength laxative (no explanation necessary) and a diuretic, because of all of the bloat.  The laxative hasn't kicked in yet, but the diuretic sure has, and I really do feel better.  My head is holding at 3 days + without a cluster headache and I'm really feeling pretty good considering.

Tomorrow J has to work a 1/2 day so I plan on  putting my head down to clean up/meal plan/make chili so that we can enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Taking Advantage

Last night sucked, but I'm trying not to dwell on it.  Worst cluster headache ever.  Enough said. Gabapentin is making me a little loopy right now.

Today I am working from home, since it's very icy and somewhat snowy out there.  No one in my department went in today, so it's great.  I've got some work stuff to finish up, but without interruption, it shouldn't take me long.  I want to take advantage of being home to scan photos and upload them to ancestry.com.  I am crazy about exploring my genealogy and have found out some really neat stuff on ancestry.com - I highly recommend it.  My dad helped me identify some people in some old pictures he had (ones that had been my grandmother's) and it's great running into people out there on the web who I'm finding that I am related to!

Will It End?

Here I am just entering week 2 of this cluster headache cycle, and I'm about to fold completely.  I am not sure how I am going to be able to continue.  Today I had one break through 35 mg of prednisone and it was THE WORST pain I have ever felt.  I had tears running out of my right eye, droopy right eyelid - the works.  I wasn't sure I would be able to make it home, and is came on in the car.

By the time I got home it had been a 10 for the end of the ride and I stumbled into the bathroom (after popping another 5 mg prednisone) to take a hot shower, just howling - I wasn't crying - I was howling.  It was the worst.  I am so glad my husband wasn't home to see and hear me.  By 7:15 I decided to take another 5 mg prednisone as I still had a 4/5 headache.  

So, now I'm up to 45 mg prednisone (I can't go above 60 mg without having to be admitted to the hospital).  I'm going to go back to taking all 200mg of gabapentin in the morning instead of splitting them up - which I had done to try to alleviate the side-effects: anxiety and stressful feeling.

Well - hopefully the 45 mg prednisone will hold it all off for now.  I guess we'll see.  Keep your fingers crossed!

Prednisone Plus Me Equals. . .

Bloat. Constipation. Not fun.  I've taken 3 Correctol's since last night and nothing has happened.  I also drank 8oz. H2O with 1 tsp. psyllium powder (gross) in hopes of getting things moving and nothing yet.  I guess I'll have another one after my dinner.  Thankfully - not one cluster headache since my prednisone dosage was increased, so I will take the bloat any day!

Speaking of dinner, I will be making Salmon with Lentils and a Mustard Herbed Butter - yum!  

Addition: The salmon was delicious!  Highly recommended - head over to epicurious.com and make this recipe!

Mind Racing

Great day today - I went to the Dr. this morning and she upped my meds, which (for now) is doing the trick on keeping these cluster headaches at bay.  I'm feeling really energetic, which is amazing considering that I can't remember the last time I got a solid night of sleep.  

J is at class tonight, so as soon as I get this posted I am going to start ripping on my cross stitch project.  I'm hoping this weekend to finalize some decorating decisions for my house, and I'm even considering asking the folks over at This Young House to put together a mood board for my living room, since I'm not sure if I trust myself with doing it right.

So Disappointed

Last night, my cluster headaches busted through the medication that had been holding them off, which sucks big time.  I had another one in the middle of the night that pulled me straight out of a deep sleep and about knocked my socks off.  I called my Dr. this morning but I can't be seen until tomorrow, and in the meantime I was told to take an extra 5mg of prednisone.  All morning I proceeded to have a low grade cluster headache and I was drained from the previous 2, so I left work to come home and spend the rest of the day sacked out.

In addition to the physical pain, I am emotionally not in a good place right now.  I just keep wanting to cry, I am so disappointed.  Disappointed that after 8 months of TTC we are still not pregnant.  Disappointed that just as I felt I was really doing something to balance my body and my mind to make myself more favorable for conception that I was struck with this debilitating pain - pain that is sucking my will to live and forcing me to focus on it, which I do not want to be doing - I want to be focused on TTC!  

I am continuing to take BBT everyday and monitor other fertility signs, but it seems pointless this month - and probably even next month too.  I need to find some positive spin to this whole thing - any suggestions?

A New Dawn. . .and Breakfast for Dinner

J and I are so thrilled for Obama's inaguration - I am going to watch as much of the ceremonies as I can while I'm at work tomorrow. Hopefully this optimism can stretch into the future.

In the meantime, it's breakfast for dinner tonight.  French toast and sausage - yum.

Just Your Average Sunday on Drugs

Today was a quiet day as I wanted to lie low while my body gets used to the new drugs.  I felt pretty good all day, so I'll consider it a good decision.  I was up at 8, J didn't get up until much later - but surprise surprise - he shaved off his beard - yea!!!!  Last night when we were getting kind of frisky (for the first time in weeks, thanks to my complete distaste for the beard that he grew post-Christmas) I had to finally tell him - 'hon, that beard is a complete turn-off for me. I can't stand the way it feels.'  I think he was pretty hurt by the way he rolled over in a huff and things ended then and there.  I didn't feel bad about it though - I've brought it up before and figured that it was his decision whether to keep it or not - at least he knew what my position was.

However, he did tell me that he will grow it back in time to have a full beard for a ski trip in February.  Whatever.

Medicine - Do Your Job

Excellent day today - I awoke pain free!  The meds I took late yesterday afternoon must be doing their jobs.  I am on prednisone (excellent for pain relieving skills, not so good after a few days in terms on bloat and constipation) and gabapentin, which is actually an anti-seizure medication, and this is the first time I've ever taken it.  I'm not sure what exactly anti-seizure medication does to keep my head pain away, but as long as it's working, I don't care!

I went in for an acupuncture visit to try and hit these cluster headaches from all sides.  J took me in since I wasn't sure how I'd be reacting to my new meds. The visit went well, but it's very different when you go in for pain management versus fertility stuff.  S probed around my feet looking for tender spots at the ends of energy channels and she found them - on my left feet, which makes sense, since it's the right side of my head where the pain is.  Before I left, she attached these little band aids with teeny-tiny ball bearings on them on my ears, on specific pressure points - where I can squeeze them if I start to have head pain.  Hopefully the meds will work so I won't have to do that, but it's really nice knowing that I have an alternative back-up plan.  S told me not to bother with taking the herbs I was supposed to start on on CD5 - we'll save them for after I'm done dealing with these cluster headaches.

After the treatment was over, J and I went to Culver's for lunch - yum!  We swung by Circuit City to see what the good deals might be but there really weren't any yet.  After getting home I started on a new cross stitch project for my new neice/nephew who will be arriving in April.  The pattern is Cedar Hill Shaker Animal Rhymes - when it's done I'll be sure to post a picture.  For my neice, A, who is 2, I made "The Promise" by Shepherd's Bush and it turned out awesome.  I should have taken a picture of it before I gave it to her!

J has been great to me since his generally insensitive comments yesterday morning - he told me that he's disapointed that we're going to have to put off TTC for a month or two but he doesn't blame me - he doesn't like to see me in pain and it frustrates him that there isn't anything he can do to change it.  He is the best.  Just knowing that's how he feels makes me feel better - we will get through this.

First Acupuncture Visit

Since I'm trying to play a little bit of catch up, I wanted to describe my first acupuncture visit.  First of all, it was scheduled for 2 hours to accommodate a complete review of my answers to the intake questionnaire and the treatment itself.  I was like, 'holy cow!  My primary care Dr has probably hasn't seen me for a total of 2 hours in all my visits over a 2 year period."  

After I arrived, it took me about 15 minutes to fill out a multi-page intake form, asking everything from typical family history stuff to your sleep habits, exercise habits, what your menstrual cycle is like, nutrition, and choices of a ton a specific symptoms for you to circle if you are experiencing them.  Then there was space for you to list out the 3 main reasons that brought you to the practice, describe how long you've had the issue, what you've done so far, what's been successful or not, etc.  After filling this all out, I sat down with the TCM Practitioner, S, and spent 45 - 60 minutes discussing everything I had filled out, with her asking following up questions.  S then took my pulse in a unique way to TCM and inspected my tongue.  This was all mixed together with the education and knowledge in her brain to come up with my diagnosis: dampness.  I was told to cut out my morning latte, as much dairy and caffeine as I could, and no raw uncooked fruits or vegetables.  Gulp.  I could do it - I want this baby!  She said she would mix up some special herbs for me at my next visit - for now - on to the acupuncture itself.

I laid on the table, face up, fully clothed except for shoes and socks.  S advised me to breathe in, breathe out - and when I exhaled she placed the first needle in my ear - I felt it, but it didn't hurt.  She had me do the special breathing as she finished placing the needles in my ears, and told me I didn't have to worry about breathing on command while she placed the needles in the rest of my body.  The needles were placed in my hands, lower arm, feet, and just below my knees.  I was left for about 20-30 minutes to relax.  I had a hard time relaxing completely - my mind was racing - thinking about how I should be feeling - am I tired?  Am I invigorated? Do I feel energy flowing?  In the end, I think I was able to relax, just a little.

While I was 'relaxing' S examined some supplements and tea I had brought along to make sure they were ok for me to keep taking while I was in treatment.  Ultimately, she told me the FertiliTea was fine, as was the general prenatal vitamin supplement, but she didn't see much value in the FertileCM supplement.  I guess I'll just keep taking them until I run out, but won't bother to re-order.

S came in and removed the needles, we spoke about the nutrition and that again, and I scheduled another appointment for the following week.  Afterwards - I was exhausted.  All afternoon while I was at work I just wanted to crawl up in a ball and take a nap.  I would suggest anyone else make their initial visit at a time when they can just go home and relax afterwards, because you have no idea how you might feel!

Cluster Headaches

Cluster Headaches are the 2 most dreaded words to me right now.  For those of you have never heard of them before, the Mayo Clinic site has some great information about them here.

Anyways - I've been 2 years without an episode of these wretched things, which in all fairness, should not even be called headaches.  It would be more appropriate to call them "Raging Searing Hot Pain Behind my Eye that I Would do Anything to Eliminate"-aches.  But of course, now 9 cycles into TTC, just as I'm gearing up with a new focus on TCM, they have struck.  I had 4, each lasting 45 minutes or so, within 12 hours.  The MD drugged me up good so I'm ok now, but it means putting TTC on hold for 2 months while I treat the crap out of these things with fun things like anti-seizure medications and prednisone.

Needless to say, I'm very disappointed and mad at my own body right now.  My husband is trying to be reassuring but just comes off sounding like an ass.  

Getting Started

I tried starting a blog when J and I started TTC, but there really wasn't too much that was too interesting in those first months. Now it's become a different story.  After my Christmas wish wasn't granted, I went full force into exploring other options - charting started in earnest (it had been half-assed before), special supplements were purchased, and an appointment with a Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM from here on out) practitioner was made.  

I am now on CD1 of TTC cycle #9, my first full cycle with acupuncture and specially formulated Chinese herbs.  I am really hoping that following this regime will result in a pregnancy before I hit the one year mark!  If it doesn't, I am going to be happy (hopefully) with the knowledge that I will moving into the testing and what might follow with my body and mind in the best place possible.

I hope that sharing my experiences with TCM will be helpful to those of you who are interesting in learning more.  So - this is my disclaimer: I am not terribly well educated in TCM, and will be learning as I go along.  I do not claim in any way shape or form to be an expert.  I will share too much information.  I want questions, comments, and input from those who are genuinely interested.  And I can't wait to get started!