Ummm. . . 90%?

The dr. told me prior to the lap that I would be a 90% by Monday. Well, after a 1/2 day at work yesterday I was in most discomfort that I've been in since the surgery. Yuck. So, since we leave this Friday for vacation, I really want to make sure that I'm recovered. I called the nurse and she said there was no indication of a problem as long as I was eating, going to the bathroom and not running a fever. So - apparently I might just be a slow healer. If post surgery was the baseline for 0%, and pre-surgery is 100%, I'm currently at about 60%.

Vacation begins this Friday! My husband and I are off to Switzerland and Italy for 2 weeks! I finally bought a pair of good walking flats and a purse to carry on the trip yesterday (Vera Bradley "On the Go" bag in Raspberry Fizz) so I think I'm all set. My packing list is written and I just need to put everything together on Thursday night. This vacation is just at a perfect time between my lap and the next cycle when we can start trying - so we can just totally enjoy this vacation for what it is and not think about TTC.

When we get back I'm starting on a 12-week program from Pulling Down the Moon. I bought their "Fully Fertile" book and a DVD with yoga, breathing and relaxationg exercises. I'm really excited to get started and address and whole bunch of mind body stuff - things to open my body, relax my body and mind, and feed myself properly for this journey and beyond. I might even go start up accupuncture again, now that I do know what my physical issues are.

Long Time - New Approach

I was so frustrated after I had to deal with those cluster headaches that I just tossed in the towel for awhile. Well, in May, we hit our TTC 1 year anniversary - not something that most of us look forward to. So now I have the big red "INFERTILE" stamp on my chart at the ob/gyn. At least we were then able to get ourselves in to see the RE. Ultimately, my husband's semen analysis came back a-ok, so on to me - the RE determined pretty quickly based on my history that I was ovulating and through a quick pelvic exam, that I also had a retroflexed uterus. How come no other dr. ever told me that before?

Putting those things together - RE suggested we do a surgical procedure to check for blocked tubes and/or endometriosis - so I had the laparoscopy this past Wednesday, and guess what - not only do I have a retroflexed uterus (which unto itself does not indicate or cause infertility) but I also have stage 2 endometriosis on my bladder, both ovaries and uterus (which he zapped away with a laser), a fibroid on my uterus (which he left alone for now) and cervical stenosis - which might actually be the cause of the endo. I go back for a post-op visit this Thursday to talk about everything in more detail.

While it was a true joy to find out just how screwed up my own body is, it is a relief to find out there is a physical explination as to why we haven't conceived yet. I think now we get 3 full cycles to make it happen before pursuing further testing and options.

Happy Valentine's Day

So J and I decided to stay in today and make a nice meal (well, I'll be making a nice meal - J will be on clean-up duty) instead of going out.  So, here's the menu:

Shrimp Cocktail with Red Cocktail Sauce Sakowitz

Steak Diane Flambe

Wild Rice

Asparagus

Homemade Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Icing

Sounds good, no?  

Brain Dead

I think all of the drugs I'm on are starting to kill my brain cells!  When I got home from work yesterday I tried calling J to ask him if he could pick up milk on his way home.  I got no answer at work, and his cell phone was turned off.  So I tried again 10 minutes later - same result.  Then I thought that maybe when he got home we could go to Lowe's to look at paint and flooring and go out for sushi, and then pick up milk on our way home.  It wasn't until 6:20 that I remembered that J had class and wasn't going to be home until after 8!  Hello!  So I sent him a text asking him to pick up milk (for when he turned his phone back on), heated up a microwave meal, and got cozy for the evening.  J actually got home earlier than I expected, but without the milk - he was nice enough to hop back in the car and go get it, or else I would not have been able to make my coffee this morning.  What a good guy.

Medicine update: 90mg prednisone, 80mg verapamil, lasix, miralax, zantac, ambien.

Nervous Anticipation

I am half expecting an admit to the hospital today - in light of the fact that I broke though 57.5 mg prednisone last night with an awful, long cluster headache.  Part of me actually wants it.  Maybe then something will happen to actually kill these things for good, or at least for the next 12 - 24 months.

To top it off, I think my body is at the tipping point.  First - my period came yesterday, about 4 days early.  That never happens on its own.  Next - heartburn city is going on in my chest.  Acne is all over my face, neck, chest and back.  My heart periodically pounds in my chest.  Last night while I was about 2/3 of the way through my cluster headache my bp was 116/92 (normally I'm 100/68 ish) and my pulse was 87!

So - here is the list of meds I will most likely be taking today: 60mg prednisone, 200 mg gabapentin, 100 mg Lasix, 18 grams Miralax, 150 mg OTC Zantac.  I'm going to hold off on the prednisone and gabapentin until after my 9:15am appt since I don't want to do anything that would preclude any additional treatments today. 

Wow - I cannot wait to get past this and be able to get back to what this blog was supposed to be all about: TTC!

Annoyed

I love that I called my Dr. yesterday to inform her that I was up to 57.5 mg prednisone, suffering from severe insomnia, and could she please call in a prescription for Relpax - and by the way, please call me back at phone number x -- and 6 hours later I check my messages at phone number y and there is a message from the Dr.'s office that  they scheduled me for an appointment on Monday at 9:15 - huh?  First of all - wrong number idiots.  Second - what about my Relpax prescriptiong?  How am I supposed to get through the weekend if a cluster headache breaks throuhg?  I am at the upper limit of the amount of prednisone I can/should be taking on my own.  So yes - while I do like my Dr. a lot, I am annoyed.

The Miralax and Lasix are keeping the digestive system flowing and bloat down - but the prednisone has made my skin break out something horrible, including my neck, chest and back.  It is gross.  I am also now suffering from near-constant heartburn, regardless of whether I take the meds with food or not - Zantac is mostly working, but does wear off by the time I wake up in the morning.  And that's the final thing -- being awake.  I cannot sleep past 5:10am, and it's not like I'm falling asleep at 8pm.  I do not survive well on less than 7 hours of sleep per night, and I'm not sure if I've gotten that much over the last 2 days combined.  What sleep I do get is restless, dream-filled, and generally not restful.

In spite of all of this, I am so hopeful that I can wrap this all up soon and get back to the business of TTC.

Wow

For lack of a better word - wow.  I just spoke with my sister - her father-in-law went in for a colonoscopy yesterday, which led to an emergency surgery later in the day, which ended with the surgeon coming out and informing them that it looked like it was late-stage pancreatic cancer.  They are all in my thoughts and prayers.